Should You Have Sex Before Marriage? Can They Agree?

  • Published on Jan 27, 2019
  • We brought people who believe in abstinence and advocates of premarital sex together to find middle ground. SUBSCRIBE for more! 👉 👈
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Comments • 9 083

  • Gunk
    Gunk 22 hours ago

    You should have sex when you want to have sex. If you can't find a willing partner, masturbate. There's no right or wrong, really, it's all preference.

  • Bella Colvard
    Bella Colvard 22 hours ago

    This has been one of my favorite middle ground episodes due to how respectful and non judging everyone was towards eachother, even though they may have very strong opposing opinions. Thanks for another great video!!!

  • lowel ladag
    lowel ladag 2 days ago

    Born again virgin. Count me in hahahahahahahaahhaahahahah

  • alex
    alex 2 days ago

    A soul tie!?...
    Wow people really think sex is that deep!?

  • Eyeman Igur
    Eyeman Igur 2 days ago

    I really want to wait for “the one”, but I’m not sure if I’m just wasting my time because I might never meet her. Sometimes I think I should just go and have fun because if I don’t I could regret it.

  • Duuucky
    Duuucky 3 days ago

    Glad you got some normal people for this. Looks like both sides were willing to listen and understand without being disrespectful.

  • ID7501
    ID7501 3 days ago

    Sex Party community?? Uhh how do I sign up??

  • zab collazo
    zab collazo 3 days ago

    Where these sex parties at ?

  • panda bear
    panda bear 4 days ago

    I feel Christina is right that the more people you have sex with the more pieces of some one else you bring with you to any physical encounter. but I feel you shouldn't have sex until marrige because if you do not have sex you do not know what your missing. then when you do get into that monogamous relationship you can be with only that person and not them any past lovers and any one they had sex with before you all at the same time. Fyi I am a virgin. I choose not to have sex not because no one wants to have sex with me but because I want to be as untouched as possible for the one that God has chosen for me..

    • Charles Fournier Phaneuf
      Charles Fournier Phaneuf 2 days ago

      I didn't slept with people before being in couple because he is my first and (I hope) last love

  • Mikey Roberts
    Mikey Roberts 4 days ago

    loved the conversation and how calmly everyone addressed their views

  • Sydney Eiler
    Sydney Eiler 4 days ago

    Ho gang where you at 🥰🤤🤠

  • rawane 1995
    rawane 1995 4 days ago

    Many relationships/ No sex/ Many breakups/ So many manipulative people/ Soooo happy never had sex with any of them because it would have been even harder to move on

  • Kristina G.
    Kristina G. 4 days ago

    11:40 is facts.

  • Janciel Llanos Matos

    Well, I wanted to be abstinent and then lost it at 15... but I just wanted to say after having a lot of sexual partners, more than 30, sex can be just physical. I hope one day I share an emotional connection with someone but just wanted to put that out there. It’s hard at times to even remember what they’ve looked like, how it was, etc... it can be just emotional.

  • Kendal Allyn
    Kendal Allyn 5 days ago +2

    Okay but public education doesn’t mean Christian education. So abstinence isn’t the end all be all.

  • Ashley Amber
    Ashley Amber 6 days ago

    one thing the abstinence people are forgetting in almost all of their arguments is that **not everyone is religious/christian** so preaching that sex should be between you and god and jesus to an atheist/agnostic/buddhist/etc. is proooobably not gunna be helpful for them.

  • pwettie tee
    pwettie tee 6 days ago

    One thing that most people tend to forget is that Sex was made by God so it's not a bad thing but it was made in the context of marriage. As usual, we(humans) have taken God's idea and turned it upside down. When God said a man and woman will leave their parents to be joined, he was referring to marriage and then being physically, emotionally and spiritually joined. Also, God blessed the "joining" of man and woman. Sex is like a covenant which is why it was made in the context of marriage because it's a big deal. Inasmuch as we like to think that we are just physical, nothing more we really are not. God made us in his image meaning we are somewhat spiritual, not just mere humans. So whatever we do doesn't just affect our physical bodies but our spiritual. Personally, I decided to wait from When I was 12. Although I didn't fully understand what sex and waiting meant I just knew to do it. One day, at the age of 13 I got really close to losing my virginity(it didn't happen) and it made me question my decision.I had re-evaluate my decision to wait and for me it wasn't just because my parents or the church expected me to do so but because I wanted to live my life with my future in mind, I wanted to not be sooo bothered when I miss my period or taking the pill, I want to honor God, my myself and my husband(eventually) with my body. It doesn't mean I'm the most righteous person alive. Even the bible talks about the ten virgins. Although they were virgins, five of them were foolish and did not make heaven. I also have friends that are very sexually active and instead of telling what my opinion of good and bad is, instead I make sure they are safe and well protected. So in the end it's all about choices...virgins shouldn't make non virgins feel like they are worthless or dirty because of their choice to be sexually active neither should people who are sexually active shame virgins or celibate people for deciding to wait for their right person and time. Being celibate or a virgin doesn't mean your marriage won't go through challenges or that you'll have a perfect marriage but rather prayer and effort will do the work. Now I'm 16, and still wanting to wait because I choose to. Yes, temptation will come and any thing can happen but as long as God knows my plans for myself, he'll always direct my path and prevent me from making mistakes.

  • Sped
    Sped 6 days ago

    Lost my virginity at three get on my level scrubs and did this retard just say “born again virgin” bish wha?

  • ThePsps1
    ThePsps1 7 days ago

    Abstinence losers lol jkjk you gotta test the car before u buy it

  • Isha Poonia
    Isha Poonia 7 days ago +4

    This was one of the most respectful middle ground episodes

  • Polly ThePengiun
    Polly ThePengiun 7 days ago

    I don’t see the point in “waiting until marriage” it just seems ignorant. Because here’s the thing. What if they SUCK at sex and just are so boring. Then you’re married to this person who you have to sleep with forever or until you have a divorce.

    • Charles Fournier Phaneuf
      Charles Fournier Phaneuf 2 days ago

      In fact love hormone give you a big need of reproduction and if you don't do it loves go back and it turns to friendship

  • 』『
    』『 7 days ago +1

    Jessica: I've heard people say "Well I only had anal sex so I'm still a virgin."
    Erin: Well, that's still not vegan

  • theepicwizard
    theepicwizard 7 days ago

    A soul tie....

  • Milliene Xu
    Milliene Xu 7 days ago

    wait wait wait okay so I'm a Christian and deciding to be abstinent because of that, I
    I think my decision is something that is right for me but what other people choose to do is none of my business. However, Grace is a PK right (pastor's kid) and identifies as a Christian and is okay with casual sex??? Read the bible more please!! I think her actions here enforces a skewed perception of Christianity where we choose the passages we like. (about the thing with a piece of paper, yes it's true but I think it's more that that piece of paper nowadays is synonymous with [at least some pretense of] genuine life-long dedication if someone was stranded on a deserted island that didn't have marriage but vowed to stay together for life, I'd say that's in line with the bible's idea of marriage as well.)

    • Charles Fournier Phaneuf
      Charles Fournier Phaneuf 2 days ago

      You have to never trust a thing without thinking itb even more an old book that don't take science
      A little fact, love is an hormone that make you addict to someone the time to raise a child (it can easily be extended with human wants) if you don't do wath the hormone ask you for a long time your love shut down and turn to good frienship

  • Morgan Moore
    Morgan Moore 7 days ago

    Honestly it makes me mad that they are making the virtue and virginity based on Christianity. I’m a Christian and I believe God and Jesus still loves me even if I’m not a virgin. Jesus’ best friend was Mary Magdalene and she was a sex worker. Being a virgin really in reality doesn’t make you a better Christian it just makes you someone who decided to not have sex. There are so many contradictory things in the Bible. You can’t pick and choose. Just my thoughts

  • Anne Brown
    Anne Brown 8 days ago

    People who believe in being abstinent are usually religious and to then marriage is extremely important and not a “piece of paper” and sex is also very important and I don’t want to give myself to somebody who is just going to leave and never talk to me again. I don’t want to ever compare my husband to somebody else. I want sex to be from love and be beautiful and not just physical or something that was “fine” it’s sad that people done love themselves enough to want that too

    • Charles Fournier Phaneuf
      Charles Fournier Phaneuf 2 days ago

      Cause today a majority of people don't want to buy thousands of dollars to privilege that you already have after 3 years in a lot of countries it'll be hard to wait marriage

  • Ronald Peña
    Ronald Peña 8 days ago

    Christians scare me

  • Michelle Clyde
    Michelle Clyde 8 days ago

    I heard once: "We hunger for connection and unity, but if we have sexual relations with someone we are not committed to, we are left starving."
    Waiting for marriage is SO WORTH IT. When you have someone who loves you for everything that you are, the physical is just a cherry on top. You need real commitment (marriage is the ultimate commitment) before you give your body and soul to another.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago

      Michelle Clyde this post is so wrong for so many reasons
      1. Sex can be an amazing experience even when love isn’t involved- it can be sensual, fun. It doesn’t need to be some serious thing. Every other bodily function or fun experience isn’t held on such a pedestal.
      2. Someone can love you for everything you are and not be married to you. It’s sad you believe a piece of paper is what made someone love you. Really sad. The cherry on the top for my relationship is the sex life because he does love me unconditionally and for ever single part of me- it’s an amazing feeling. But the absence or presence of a piece of paper for the government doesn’t change that
      3. Marriage isn’t a sign of commitment considering half of marriages end in divorce. A long term relationship is just as likely to be for life as a marriage.
      4. When I have sex I don’t give my body to someone, it’s still my body?

  • The mallu girl
    The mallu girl 8 days ago

    Everything was fine until someone said purity. That stings! :(

  • just jaici
    just jaici 8 days ago

    "I consider myself a born again virgin"............ um

  • Nelson Vazquez-Munoz

    I am only a virgin because I don't desire children of my own.

  • Daddy
    Daddy 8 days ago

    I'm not even religious at all, I'm an atheist, but I agree on the whole notion "Sex before marriage is bad". Trust me it can save a lot of trouble/ potential trouble in the long run. But hey, that's just me. Do what you want in life, go at your own pace. Don't let other people pressure you in to sex or let them tell you that you are less of a human being if you're a virgin because in reality you're not.

  • Danny Knight
    Danny Knight 8 days ago

    I believe in abstinence but only because I’m sick of seeing all this kids with no da

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago

      Danny Knight so get sterilised or use protection. Not difficult.

  • MetalChica7
    MetalChica7 9 days ago

    9:29, was she mean-mugging him??

  • emily reynolds
    emily reynolds 9 days ago +26

    How someone can marry a person that they don’t know if they have sexual chemistry with blows my mind.. lol

    • Extroverted Introvert
      Extroverted Introvert 2 days ago +1

      that’s because i believe that God will find the person I am meant to be with and he will make sure of everything so I don’t have to. I trust whatever he has in store for me

    • Amanda Bowl
      Amanda Bowl 3 days ago +2

      I'm 19 and waiting until marriage. I'll never have anyone to compare him to, so we'll be able to figure out what each other likes and we'll have our entire lives to get better. I believe it's important to be intimate on a different level first because you can't make a marriage work on just sex. At the end of the day, I'm not worried about how great the sex is going to be in my marriage, I want to have someone that loves me and understands me, etc. No hate at all. I respect what others do. Sending love. ❤

    • She’s so Lucky
      She’s so Lucky 4 days ago

      Alex Meggoe
      Being confused about why people don’t like cucumbers and why people choose not to have sex before marriage are two different things. But still, maybe it’s because people think differently than you do?
      Most people are actually pretty explicit about why they choose to abstain.
      Maybe you’re trying to start an argument here, because I don’t get why people are confused about what other people choose to do with their bodies. No one owes you an explanation

    • Alex Meggoe
      Alex Meggoe 4 days ago

      @She’s so Lucky nah you just make no sense, being confused aint being rude. I am confused on why people like cucumber and that aint rude.

      so yes you are looking for an argument because there is nothing to argue here.

    • She’s so Lucky
      She’s so Lucky 4 days ago

      Alex Meggoe
      Maybe the people making rude comments about people’s personal choices are looking for an argument?
      So people are allowed to argue with me and I’m not allowed to respond?

  • Fragolina Black
    Fragolina Black 9 days ago

    I think Katy is not being too honest. Just a feeling 🤷‍♀️

  • joanne Ponnappa
    joanne Ponnappa 10 days ago +3

    I think what people don't understand is Sex is something so beautiful, I hate how underrated it is. It has the power to change everything, its the only act that literally makes you one with the person physically and it doesn't stop there you're producing hormones and making a soul connection with someone, animals don't make this connection, they don't have spirits, we are spiritual beings. You think you're just getting out unaffected but honestly it is a big deal and why take the risk when you really don't know how strong this is, and when you can share it with one person and enjoy it for the rest of your life rather than so many partners and so many soul connections . It is a struggle, yes because it is Beautiful. But, better to wait on it.

    • Animation DramaNation
      Animation DramaNation 7 days ago

      @joanne Ponnappa
      They're not saying have sex with every person they date their not saying that at all they're saying is have safe sex with somebody you trust. Besides *some* people can't wait. If they wait too long it can actually cause brain damage and cause them to start acting out in aggression. You need to take in consideration the biological factors.

    • joanne Ponnappa
      joanne Ponnappa 8 days ago

      @Speaking Truth Sounds great and I understand what you mean, knowing a person completely, in every way. But, I think attraction and knowing each other doesn't need to lead us to sex, you can discuss it yes.. and the other 99 things which make a relationship.. Because if you don't have the same values, intellect, integrity, trust, love etc there is no point in good sex(for a committed relationship) I personally don't think that you have to have sex with every person you date and then decide if they're the one. And being someone who has gone thru a couple of relationships which ended and left me devastated.. I can't imagine how much more worse it would have been if I went all the way and had sex (Intercourse) with them and by this I mean there was some form of physical intimacy, looking back... Thank God I didn't. A powerful thing can make you or break you, why play with fire, id rather wait for that one person.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +1

      joanne Ponnappa I completely disagree. (Safe) sex before marriage can be an amazing way to grow as a person and in life experiences. It can help you find what you want and like, it can make you that much better at actually choosing a life partner that’s perfect for you rather then guessing.
      Yes sex is amazing with the person you love, but you can love multiple people throughout your lifetime as you grow and develop

  • S C
    S C 10 days ago +39

    Abstinence is a personal choice, which isn't the place of schools to teach. But schools should teach consent and empower people to say no if they want to.
    And safer sex knowledge is just facts. That should definitely be taught.

    • RayofSummer
      RayofSummer 5 days ago

      @Orange Hiccup Actually, you can be 100% certain that you won't have a baby by taking necessary precautions with contraceptives. Namely, birth control and condoms COMBINED. You're fooling yourself if you think kids are gonna listen to your ramble about abstinence and gonna stick with it all the way till marriage. Ridiculous.

    • Orange Hiccup
      Orange Hiccup 8 days ago

      Being 100% factual the only way to 100% not have a chance for a baby or std is abstinence. You can never be sure that a child wont pop up or get an std.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +2

      S C I would add onto that teaching about sex is for pleasure as well. Currently the porn industry is producing young men that think sex is all about Male pleasure and that a women gets pleasure in the same way men do. It also makes girls feel like there is something wrong with them.
      Whatever porn can teach, we’ve got to make sure we go over and teach correctly

  • Mad A
    Mad A 10 days ago

    This video called me a hoe

  • Abby Fer
    Abby Fer 10 days ago

    It's not a sin between a married couple because it is a sign of love and commitment and a metaphor of the love God has for his bride, the church.

  • j0eycans
    j0eycans 11 days ago +1

    I don’t think just because someone won’t date someone who won’t have sex means they don’t really love or respect them. It’s different for everyone, but I think for most people sex is an important part of connecting with a partner, and I personally couldn’t marry someone I don’t even know I have sexual chemistry with.

  • Laura Billing
    Laura Billing 11 days ago +1

    The heck is up with Americans and sex ed. It's like it HAS to be one extreme or the other. Schools can teach both, mine did very well. it's not an either or choice and in fact teaching both goes well hand in hand.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago

      Laura Billing exactly- teach it in more of a debate style. Some people believe this vs some people believe that- here are the pros and cons of each so you can decide for yourself

  • Stella Traupe
    Stella Traupe 11 days ago

    I see so many negative comments about the 14 year old losing her virginity with an 18 year old. In Europe, lots of countries have their age of consent at 14 (like Ital where I live, Germany, Swiss, France, Spain...) or 15. I'm 15 myself and my boyfriend is 19 and I lost my virginity to him. We both love each other, he never pressured me into anything and waited patiently until I was ready for it. I also know a lot of couples with the same age gap. It really has nothing to do with rape AT ALL. Everyone matures at a different age and should not be judged for when and with whom they have sex. Sorry if there were any mistakes, English is not my first language

  • Shaylynne Wilson
    Shaylynne Wilson 11 days ago

    It bugged me when the one guy said is it worth the shame from the church. Christianity is not about shame, please know that. We are all on our own walks with God and he is our only judge.

  • Vanessah Hernandez
    Vanessah Hernandez 12 days ago

    They say the church had or would judge you but how would they know ?

  • Samantha Ridings
    Samantha Ridings 12 days ago

    I found this to be one of the best dialogues in a middle ground video! Everyone was so kind and open to communicate their personal beliefs; we need more of that!!

  • Braian Singh
    Braian Singh 12 days ago

    20 and im still what is called on my country a "lip virgin"

  • Salvy John
    Salvy John 13 days ago

    I used to have a lot of sex back in high school but once I left I stopped, I started building a stronger relationship with god and my church and now I don’t really feel the desire to have sex with anyone, I’ve had the opportunities but just don’t desire it.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +1

      Salvy John it seems like you’ve gone to the other extreme. Never let god or a religion influence your sexuality. It should all be down to you.
      I’m not religious but I also have only had good sexual encounters because I listen to my body and I assess a situation. I think if worse case scenario happens would it wreck me? I’m currently with a partner I’ve been with for 2 years, I absolutely love him but I doubt we will be together forever purely because we are so young so still have so much growing to do. But I will never regret having a sexual relationship with him because it’s helped me grow as a person, helped me grown in confident and grow as a woman. In the eyes of god that’s a sin and something to be frowned upon which is why I know religion has a bad view on it. Something as magical as sex with someone you deeply love can’t be wrong

    • Salvy John
      Salvy John 8 days ago

      Speaking Truth Yea back in High school I was just having too much sex that that’s all I did most days, but now I have connected with god and I don’t really feel the desire anymore, well once in awhile but not super often so I try not to pressure my self to get a desire

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +2

      Salvy John and if you don’t feel the desire now then don’t pressure yourself too, but if it does start to bother you don’t be afraid to speak to someone about it. It may be those unhealthy experiences that have lead to you feeling like this now.

    • Salvy John
      Salvy John 8 days ago

      Speaking Truth yeah what you saying makes a lot of sesnse

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +2

      Salvy John that’s likely because you were having unhealthy sex in high school.
      Someone can have pre marital sex and it be healthy for them and actually improve them as a person but it’s completely dependent on the person and their choices

  • Angie Olguin
    Angie Olguin 13 days ago +2

    This hurts. Some of us get abuse and not everyone can be a virgin when tragedy happens... well may god bless you all.

    • Angie Olguin
      Angie Olguin 6 days ago

      Speaking Truth 😇

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago +2

      Angie Olguin virginity is a myth so don’t worry about it

  • comedy gaming
    comedy gaming 13 days ago +2

    First of all I don’t agree on the whole marriage concept who gives another human the right to declare my marriage it should be if I say we married then we married just like asking a girl out to be your girlfriend

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago

      comedy gaming exactly! Marriage is just a piece of paper. It shouldn’t change a thing in a relationship

  • G Lyle
    G Lyle 13 days ago

    As someone who had sex super young, even if your not faith-basing it...wait man. It’s hard as hell. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a sin, sure but we all do that. I’m saying wait because it fucks up your mind-you don’t think the same. Sex, scientifically was created as a tether, and religiously is the same. When you make this tether between someone you don’t plan on being with forever-you’re created a forever bond with a right now person.

    • Speaking Truth
      Speaking Truth 8 days ago

      G Lyle it completely depends on the person and situation. Obviously having sex as a child is a very extreme, bad situation. But as a consenting adult there is nothing wrong with having sex with people, to have those new experiences and grow with them.
      Having multiple relationships can actually help you figure out who you are so when you want to settle down with someone you know exactly what you want in a partner.
      And there is nothing wrong with having a bond with someone you won’t be with forever. I’ve had best friends in the past I don’t talk to now but those memories still make me smile and are a part of me.

  • ChocolateHeartz
    ChocolateHeartz 13 days ago

    im in the boat as the reborn virgin girl except I don't think im a reborn virgin lol but I wanted to wait till marriage but ended up falling in love deeply with a guy who promised to marry and giving in to sex out of love and curiosity too I guesss. then we broke up and I felt torn apart but I haven't had sex again in two years and I am waiting till marriage again but I feel like I will be successful this time because my curiosity for sex isn't there anymore. Me and my boyfriend are 21 and 22 and both waiting until marriage even though we both made the mistake of having sex before with one person

  • karen horton
    karen horton 14 days ago +6

    Carrying someone else with me?🤔
    Not at all❤️🌹

  • btsfavgirl
    btsfavgirl 14 days ago

    14 & 18....WOW

  • L Lawliet
    L Lawliet 15 days ago

    14 and 18? That’s rape fam

  • Hail Satan
    Hail Satan 15 days ago

    The asian guy constantly nods his head and it's very distracting.

  • Abdullah Sahrai
    Abdullah Sahrai 15 days ago

    It was very interesting video clip about sex before marriage .

  • justmarnix
    justmarnix 15 days ago +1

    just do what you want lmao. it shouldn’t be a big problem 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • Nils Snel
    Nils Snel 15 days ago +1

    So what I'd say to this is, as a Christian I believe in what God said and that sex is only a good thin in the context of a marriage between man and woman. Marriage is not just a piece of paper, here is a little example: when marriage is just a commitment on the paper, why are so many people afraid of marriage and committing to only one human?
    2nd: every bon between God and humanity was sealed through blood! It's the same with marriage, it's a bond between the couple and God and when both partners are virgins and have their first time there is blood sealing that bond (maidenhead).
    We are designed to have this bond ideally with only one other man or woman ever! Sex is a spiritual and physical thing! Glue two pieces of wood together and try to separate them again, you won't get them separated without any pieces of the glue or wood sticking on each of them, it's the same with having sex with another person. After that your flesh is one, and you may not be able to separate yourself completely from any of the partners you had

  • Jade Lin Lee Chen
    Jade Lin Lee Chen 15 days ago +2

    Sex is just sex. It is not something to be ashamed of, but it isn't something to be proud of either. People put so much meaning behind it, but at the end of the day sex is not a replacement for emotions in a relationship, nor is it a reflection of one's character.