Captain Marvel: An Unbridled Meh

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  • Published on Apr 18, 2019
  • Well, it looks as if the MCU has out done itself, like this ended up being double the length of the normal rant breakdowns but there is so much to lay out, hope you enjoy it folks ;) /
  • GamingGaming

Comments • 17 080

  • MauLer
    MauLer  5 months ago +6336

    The rudimentary research into space travel at light speed, amounts of solar systems and planets and all that is totally something I recommend people look into to get more accurate numbers, I just did a few google searches with Fringy and checked a couple of websites. It seems I might have underestimated the distances and made a few mistakes that makes it all seem smaller than it is but that would only make the overall point more relevant;
    Light speed just aint gonna cut it, not by a long shot when it comes to travelling between galaxies.

    • Julius Tapert
      Julius Tapert Day ago

      @Doosin depends if you include the Oort cloud in the solar system, which nearly hits the 1 LY mark.

    • Jonny B
      Jonny B 26 days ago

      @Crobemeister Pretty sure the nearest galaxy (Andromeda I think) is like 2 million light years actually. I mean just think, if our galaxy is 100-125,000 across then it'd be impossible for another massive body of gravity to only be 25,000 light years distant. Unless they're in the process of merging.

  • OnlyGoodSHHH
    OnlyGoodSHHH 5 hours ago

    48:04 the attempt at humor comes from them scanning the cat/flurken before fury and saying the cat/flurken is a high risk...cuz, at this point, no one but the aliens knows what a cat/flurken really is yet

  • J Logan
    J Logan 6 hours ago

    If captain marvel was it's own thing itd be whatever, if it had been the true first movie itd have been mediocre at best
    But as the penultimate to the biggest movie ever ten years in the making and dozens of films.of lore to connect its a boring convoluted MESS that spits on everything that came prior all for hamfisted politics

  • Donal O'Domhnaill
    Donal O'Domhnaill 7 hours ago

    Mauler, you are a stupid asshole really. You know that. You mother and father knew that about you as a child too. At least Captain Marvel has some origin story, you just speak Dawson's Creek style nasal voice "plank is this, plank is that". I think you are just on of those kids who hates girls. Captain Marvel is a girl. Get over it dude. Did you not get breast fed as a child, or did daddy try to feed his man boob to you instead. I am sick of fools like you slagging off this film just because it is a popular thing to do, just because Captain Marvel is not a man. I cannot believe that most of the comments on this site are positive, so here is another one. You're an idiot.

  • Unwarranted Design
    Unwarranted Design 10 hours ago

    Among the many things that this movie go wrong, making the Skrulls good guys was amongst them. They're one of the best villain races in the comics, and having the dynamic of the Kree-Skrull war being between two imperialistic empires would have been far more fascinating then the oppressor-oppressed relationship that they went with. Also, making the Skrulls good guys now precludes any sort of potential MCU Secret Invasion storyline with them.

  • NewJourneysFireLP
    NewJourneysFireLP 10 hours ago

    Around an hour and a half in to this video, I started realizing I've been seeing the same scenes over and over and over again for at least 100 times. :D lol

  • Qrow Summer-Rose
    Qrow Summer-Rose 14 hours ago

    I have an opinion on the movie and it’s not a good one
    My court date was yesterday
    Oh I have another court date...
    Thanks Disney
    Oh look new Star Wars movies
    Why are “true” Star Wars fans threatening to burn down my house?

  • Tousif Zamal
    Tousif Zamal 20 hours ago

    plank

  • NanjoBissness
    NanjoBissness Day ago

    A better way to do this movie was not redcon 80% Captain Marvel story, have the Kree and Skrull both be evil alien races warring each other, the Skrull's try to infiltrate Earth and the Kree try to wipe them out before they can, Mar-vel can be a Kree soldier that either doesn't agree with the Kree laws or is indiferent to them, he has his power set from Kree versions of the super soldier program and Carol is a captain in the air-force and her and her team are the first to see a fight between the two alien races. they try to intercept them but her team are shoot down by both the Kree and Skrulls because neither care for the people of the planet, Carol manages to avoid it and crash near them and Mar-vel see's her and trys to save her getting injured doing so, his blood gets on her and has a weird effect that gives her his powers and then some because of her human DNA, she then is shown blasting both the Skrull and Kree away impressing Mar-vel into training her. The movie can then be about her steping out of his shadow or him dieing and she takes his name as Marvel to honor him as a hero of Earth that fights agaist both Krees and Skrulls

  • Last Shadow
    Last Shadow Day ago

    LMAO....It's funny cause it's true....LMAO!!!

  • Jmuk35
    Jmuk35 2 days ago

    Brie Larson is a dumbass virtue signaling SJW feminist but I’d do her. I think she just needs a man and a good banging. But she’s a strong waaaamen and is “so stunning and brave.” Mauler is one of the best youtubers on here, and has the best video essays though

  • traceadams67
    traceadams67 2 days ago

    Dude your review saved me 99 cents and the effort of pulling this marvel SJW abortion out of the giant cardboard clearance box at Walmart. Thanks!

  • Logan Brunzlow
    Logan Brunzlow 2 days ago

    Carol is exactly like Rey lmfao

  • Logan Brunzlow
    Logan Brunzlow 2 days ago

    No it cuz he trusted goose simple as that

  • fennicfox
    fennicfox 2 days ago

    13:17 she touched his screen play. That's assault!

  • PaceBreaker Productions

    What the? Who signed off on this script? This is such a basic power fantasy bit of fanfiction loaded with so much blatant disregard for anything that preceded it. It didn't earn it's big crowning identity moment because the film refused to show rather than tell - as if it didn't have to justify complying with a simple narrative mechanic.
    I'm glad I didn't pay money for this.

  • PerfectHit
    PerfectHit 2 days ago

    I would have been surprised if this movie had turned out to be any different, after watching the trailers...

  • Antony Kamitsis
    Antony Kamitsis 2 days ago

    fuck you disney .. fuck you

  • Joshua Martinovich
    Joshua Martinovich 3 days ago +1

    so just a brief explanation. and unless you actually look this up, you wont even remotely know.
    it makes sense that Goose can swallow the teseract...... ONLY if you know the comics and looked it up.

    so i saw goose and thought hey, that cat might be important. so i googled him(before the movie was out). so he is part of the super intelligent species that look like cats. inside their mouths are pocket dimensions that house not only those tentacles, but can hold people, objects, ect until they spit them out.
    so thats why goose can do what he does with the teseract.

    but again, unless you read the comics or look this up, you WILL NOT know this. so i went into the film with this info, so when i saw the scene im like okay, found it funny and it didnt bother me.
    but if you dont have this info(which im assuming you dont) this scene would be confusing that this seemingly unassuming alien could do this.

    but given the context of your video, its just another thing on the huuuuuuuuuuge list of why this movie was horrendous, cause they shoved in this character from the comics, gave it literal no backstory at all, then have it do all that and its like, as you put it, okay?

    also, one thing you also didn't mention which would've been interesting. science lady you keep mentioning. her name is Mar'Vel..... and she was not a man in the comics, but the very first captain marvel(dont at me with Shazam commentors, i dont give a damn about that legal dispute and its irrelevant to my comment).
    so not only did they add a established comic character, but they completely gender changed him, cause heaven forbid Danvers have a positive male role model.
    "but but but but, reeeeeee, if they kept him the right gender, it wouldn't of changed anything!"......... SO WHY CHANGE IT EXCEPT TO PUSH A FEMINIST MESSAGE OF ALL MEN ARE DICKS AND OFFER NO ENCOURAGEMENT?!?!?!
    and to further cement this point, let me point you to the daughter of her best friend....... WHO IS THE SECOND CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!(again, dont at me with Shazam. i dont give a fuck, he isn't captain marvel, get over it).
    so if it isnt important, then why did they not change the gender of her? why not make her the son of her best friend? why only change Mar'Vel? is it maybe because of a feminist message of fuck all men? hmmmmm......

  • krillin6
    krillin6 3 days ago

    25,000 light years... That's the closest Galaxy to Earth. In order to get there in one year, you'd have to travel at 25,000 times faster than LIGHT SPEED.
    That light speed drive, then, would likely have to have a maximum speed of many many multiples of light speed. To be fair, they don't actually ever explain it's actual speed. It is possible the name doesn't reflect the max speed and it just has a really bad name.
    The most likely thing, in my mind? The writers just didn't care enough to bother.
    Also, that means Captain Marvel is just as fast as the light speed drive, and omg the practicality and forces that would be at play.
    Imagine accelerating that quickly! It would atomize you, regardless of how tough you are. Nearly instantly accelerating at that rate would be the shortest trip in the history of the universe.

  • krillin6
    krillin6 3 days ago

    How does "Avenger" even work as a nickname or callsign?

  • Frank Zappa
    Frank Zappa 3 days ago

    besides the fact that Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck can't make a decent superhero movie to save their lives, Brie Larson has an emotional range of a blank slate.

  • Zach A
    Zach A 3 days ago

    Just like MiB: International and The Last Jedi, this is another harlequin romance story disguised as an action movie...
    From Wikipedia:
    The Romance Writers of America organization defines women's fiction as, "a commercial novel about a woman on the brink of life change and personal growth. Her journey details emotional reflection and action that transforms her and her relationships with others, and includes a hopeful/upbeat ending with regard to her romantic relationship."

  • krumpittube
    krumpittube 3 days ago

    On top of the poor writing, plank is quite terrible and did herself no favours in all the interviews she took part in.... I know It shouldn’t but it really made me dislike her intensely 😑

  • stiqula
    stiqula 3 days ago

    this is what happens when a movie is written to suit an ideology instead of . . . u know, logic.

  • a paint brush.
    a paint brush. 3 days ago

    Caption Plank Lady is my 4 year old fanfic but less sexy times with male heroes. And worse writing.

  • Silver Kaizer
    Silver Kaizer 3 days ago +1

    1:03:58 That turn from calm to pissed is flawless and I love it.
    Granted, its a small part of an overall great review.

  • seriousnecro
    seriousnecro 3 days ago

    Holy shit this is a long ass video. I was playing this in the background while playing.

  • Drew z
    Drew z 3 days ago

    k

  • Fatty Corpuscle
    Fatty Corpuscle 4 days ago +1

    Why is the thumbnail James May in makeup?

  • henry collins
    henry collins 4 days ago +1

    I watched this instead of the movie

  • Ronnybanan
    Ronnybanan 4 days ago

    Again I agree with everything MauLer said. Brie is insufferable but it suits the character. Sure the blank face reminds me of Kirsten Stewart in twilight, but the movie is entertaining if you look past the feminist angle. The fighting choreography is amazing. Cool effects. Every movie Samuel L is in are worth watching, even though his cat cuddling. We have to remember that Captain Marvel is mainly for women. Women loves cat scenes, nobody wants to see a woman be the underdog, getting beaten up and be in a physical-Rocky-V oh oh-definitely-impossible-to-turn-this-situation. That would be repulsive. So the Mary Sue card is inevitable, the only way to appeal, maybe not god-complex but descent powers. So some slack are to be cut.

    The film is watchable, even though the script have some issues.

  • MichaelNNY
    MichaelNNY 4 days ago

    Mauler I have to admit when you said it would take a couple of years to get out of our solar system going at light speed I did a spit take. Then I realized that a success rate of 99.99999999% in a youtube video is pretty fkng amazing, so I forgive you, fully and completely. Im much more angry at the writers of this 'movie' suggesting someone is going to travel at the speed of light to fully search a galaxy. See you in a couple hundred million years, Cptn Marvel!

  • Mr. DLM
    Mr. DLM 4 days ago

    All I remember about her origin is she received Captain Marvel's DNA from an explosion and also has gotten Kree's technology and then she had some interesting comics and finally the character was ruined by being literally mind fucked. Now this movie, it went from point A to B real quick : teaser of her which was great, to the actress being quite not likable at all, to the movie being meh.

  • Robert Baylis
    Robert Baylis 4 days ago

    The movie is worse than you think. Cree and Skrulls were rewritten to fit SJW false interpretations of what they represented. Not a big deal, just a rewrite of a popupar story to push retarded propaganda.

    • CJED
      CJED 4 days ago +1

      Robert Baylis sJw Reeeeeee

  • Jeremy Willhoite
    Jeremy Willhoite 4 days ago +3

    This is absolute blasphemy. No one can defeat Shaggy base, much less ultra-instinct Shaggy.

  • Adam Heald
    Adam Heald 4 days ago

    It wasn't as good as other marvel movies but it wasn't bad enough to make a 2 hour video from. There is a reason you're on youtube and not the big screen...

  • MMT399561
    MMT399561 4 days ago

    Captain Marvel as a Character is so unlikable, every time I see her I just want her to be gone. And she is supposed to be one of the big Characters in the future of the MCU. Wupdidoo.

  • Christopher LeMasters

    When are you going to do the shit fest endgame?

  • The Last Son of Crypto

    wow. I hate to say this but.
    It's a Disney marvel movie. I know we like those. And it's cool to like them. And I'm cool with that. It's just that you have to acknowledge that not everything makes complete sense. Even in my favorite movies like the first Ant Man and Endgame. You have to acknowledge that Cap shouldn't be there at the end and if he did, he stole his own shield from himself or got another Capt America in another universe killed because he didn't have that shield. And Ant man breaks it's own rules several times. I still love those movies so picking on Capt Marvel for minutia like debris from her escape pod not being found ignores these movies don't really make sense to begin with. Just how the entire far from home movie should just as well have happened in another universe where the snap didn't happen. Nothing has been affected by 1/2 the animals and people on earth coming back?! Everyone is still in the same grade?
    Hawkeye said it best in Age of Ultron. "none of this makes sense"

    • CJED
      CJED 3 days ago

      @The Last Son of Crypto Its a whataboutism because you are saying "THE OTHERS ARENT PERFECT SO YOU CAN DO FUCKING ANYTHING FUCK LOGIC"
      Yes, the movies affect each other. Captain Marvel destroys Fury as a character and fucks up the Avengers when it comes to people knowing about alien life.

      It doesn't make complete sense, watch the video.
      A plot hole is something that doesn't make sense in the plot. Captain Marvel Sue has plenty of those.

      You're basically the movies. target audience. People who don't fully understand the criticisms but will repeated attack a strawman. lol
      Liking the movie is one thing and that's normal for 2 people like something. But you're making substantive claims about the plot using words you CLEARLY don't understand.

    • The Last Son of Crypto
      The Last Son of Crypto 3 days ago

      @CJED it makes perfect sense. It's context. It's not "whataboutism" that's just something you heard somewhere and don't full understand. These movies exist in the SAME UNIVERSE. These characters interact with each other and each movie has ramifications for the entire narrative.
      Nobody said anything about plot holes. I'm not sure if that word applies here but I' guess you heard it somewhere on the internet and you're using it as a blanket term to describe anything that doesn't make sense in a movie?
      You're basically his target audience. People who don't fully understand something but will repeat it as if it's a fact. lol
      Not liking the movie is one thing and that's normal for 2 people not to like something. But you're making substantive claims about the plot using words you CLEARLY don't understand.

    • CJED
      CJED 3 days ago

      The Last Son of Crypto yes. The other movies have problems. And it’s a whataboutism because all someone has to do is go “yeah those are bad too”. I don’t care about those other movies, we are talking about how this movie makes no sense. And this movie has way more plot holes than any of the ones you listed.

    • The Last Son of Crypto
      The Last Son of Crypto 4 days ago

      @CJED yes. The 'logical consistency' lol. Like how the time travel in end game breaks it's own rules. Or how Antman is supposed to be still the same weight when he shrinks but can run on top of a gun? Or how his shrinking is about moving atoms closer together but he can shrink between the atoms.I LITERALLY mentioned those in the initial comment.
      You said it's "whataboutism". Remember?
      There's more.
      How about how the avengers can't travel without their suits, time gps and pym particles. And Thanos' whole ship comes through time? lol
      This universe is rife with movies that break their own rules. because it's a fantasy universe where "time" can be manipulated by jewlery lol.

      I still love these movies. Capt Marvel isn't my favorite one by a long shot but his critiques here are nit picky af. And you're not doing any better, tbh.

    • CJED
      CJED 4 days ago

      The Last Son of Crypto fuck no. You don’t understand how films work if you believe that. It’s not about real life, or how crazy it is, it’s about logical consistency, you fucking damp carrot.

  • dannyd464
    dannyd464 5 days ago

    The bit at the end where she goes into the ship I don't think she's travelling at light speed I think she actually pass through the ships metal to get inside so basically she's omnipotent she can do anything ?

  • dannyd464
    dannyd464 5 days ago

    So when I let wind I'm winning ?

  • Shabazza84
    Shabazza84 5 days ago

    When you re-watch this entire review instead of watching the actual movie...

  • Krystal Myth
    Krystal Myth 5 days ago

    Still hate so many of you for watching this bullshit while letting a GOOD movie with a female lead, Battle Angel, collect dust. You never put your money where your mouth is. This is why they don't respect you. They don't care about what you say. Just what you spend. That's it.

  • alex kirrmann
    alex kirrmann 5 days ago

    Why did they make the Skrulls as being good guys? Isnt the epitaph of the main skrull character named the conqueror.

  • EPRaprentis
    EPRaprentis 6 days ago +2

    You go girl!

  • GregJoshuaW
    GregJoshuaW 6 days ago

    10:35 - is that Isaac Kappy? RIP...

  • Douglas Zanini
    Douglas Zanini 6 days ago +3

    Captain Marvel is not even a comprehensive story. It's a political statement presented through a superhero allegory.

  • Riche Bright
    Riche Bright 6 days ago

    Don't like a movie? Well, just post a whiny rant about it that nearly matches that movie's runtime.

    • CJED
      CJED 4 days ago +2

      Riche Bright nope. It shows why this movie is fucking horrible and how it’s objectively bad.

  • trainwrecka
    trainwrecka 6 days ago

    Fully expect part 2 to bomb at the box office. Fool me once...

  • Vagolyk
    Vagolyk 6 days ago

    I remember the glaring plot holes but don't remember the plot to be this confusing. If I remember correctly, the protag wasn't krill, her memory was manipulated in order to exploit her powers and it was only a secret to her. The realization that she is a universal constant or some kind of godlike being now made her risk not activating her respiration gear makes sense.

  • Neffarious Panda
    Neffarious Panda 6 days ago +1

    Take a shot every time he says apparently. Good luck.

  • Migraine Gainn
    Migraine Gainn 6 days ago +1

    I'm in favour of a new rating scale of 'Planks' out of 5.. with 'Splinters' being things that cause plot holes.

  • CIMG3476
    CIMG3476 6 days ago

    So... she's Superman?

  • Constance McAbre
    Constance McAbre 6 days ago +1

    It is condescending indeed. Pseudo-wokeness doesn't make up for lack of well, everything. It's like GOT. I love the idea of Sansa becoming a ruler in her own right : but the characters keep on telling you she's smart when she's not showing it anymore through her actions. She's just emotionless and inscrutable. Give her the type of plot that made Varys and Tyrion's cleverness believable, damnit. Or Arya : cool, she kills the Night King. How about actually tying in the Faceless and Long Night intrigues, you dunces, so that feels earned? But, whatever, sticking a "girl power" sticker on the finished product is the same as working on the plot and character arcs, I guess.

  • Blaga George
    Blaga George 6 days ago

    i have to protest, sir: Plank was ok in Ed, Edd and Eddy. associating his name to this garbage character is..uncool

  • Rick L.
    Rick L. 6 days ago

    I'm so glad I didn't waste my time going to see this. Another Disney garbage/SJW flick. Geezuz.

  • Mark Grehan
    Mark Grehan 6 days ago +1

    Why on earth would you be playing with a mutant cat especially a Cthulhu humanoid eating cat, which is still a cat?

  • Lena Aalt
    Lena Aalt 7 days ago

    The worst kind of movie, if you ask me, is a forgettable movie. If I see a shitty movie I'll remember it's shittines for a long time (Star Wars ep 9). But a boring movie? I'd rather eat hornets.

  • T S Mcraedy
    T S Mcraedy 7 days ago

    They didn't write a new character for Captain Marvel. Loki just went trans.