Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap | Nat Ware | TEDxKlagenfurt

  • Published on Nov 18, 2014
  • This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Why are we getting richer but not happier? Why do lottery winners not have sustained happiness? Why are bronze medalists often happier than silver medalists? “The first step to being happy is to understand why we’re often unhappy,” says economist and entrepreneur Nat Ware. In an entertaining and enlightening talk, Nat shows that we’re bad predictors of happiness, and explains why this is. We make decisions based on actual outcomes, Nat says, but our happiness depends on relative outcomes. We’ve been seduced into a way of life that conspires against our contentment by making it near impossible for reality to live up to our expectations. It is this expectation gap - the gap between our expectations and reality - that Nat argues is a key reason we’re unhappy. Nat challenges us to not relegate happiness to the world of art and the realm of hippies, but to start taking happiness seriously. The answer is not to simply lower our expectations, but rather to change the very way in which we make decisions.
    Nat Ware is an economist, entrepreneur, and international development specialist. He is a Rhodes Scholar based at Oxford University, whose research focuses on social impact, poverty alleviation, and the economics of happiness. He is the Founder and CEO of 180 Degrees Consulting, the world’s largest university-based consultancy, with operations in 24 countries and over 4000 consultants worldwide. 180 Degrees has provided over US$50M worth of consulting services to non-profits and social enterprises so they can operate more effectively (www.180dc.org). Nat has lectured on innovation, strategy and global business at The University of Sydney, and was awarded the Saïd Prize for Top MBA Student at Oxford. He is a frequent keynote speaker at international conferences and events, and has consulted for many of the world's largest foundations and non-profit organizations. His other TEDx talk “Free Charities from The Idea of Charity” can be viewed here: ruclip.com/video/Zpzvnbsma2U/video.html.
    About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 697

  • Monster Dad
    Monster Dad Day ago

    Cant take this guy serious 1 its IDEA not IDEAR and its MACRO DATA not MACRO DATAR and hes always smiling feel like hes trying to sell me something i dont want but i would take it anyways moving on

  • jack o
    jack o 3 days ago

    People miss the entire point of the talk because they were swayed by his looks. Like lmao you mean to tell me if a super model got up there they aren't still living on this planet, with all others, with the same expectations, financial struggle and emotional. We all have dealt with it. As with him, too.

  • Questing
    Questing 8 days ago

    Reasonable expectations facilitate gratitude, and gratitude is a trait most closely correlated to happiness

  • Sherri Johnson
    Sherri Johnson 10 days ago

    Happiness is over-rated. It is usually based on "happenings". Whatever is happening at the moment determines your level of happiness. Joy...is a choice....and it has nothing to do with what is happening at the moment.

  • Zee A
    Zee A 16 days ago +3

    One of the best Ted talks I have listened to. I have been making myself unhappy with really high expectations now becoming more self-aware. Comparing less and loving myself more.

  • WhiteChocolateMocha
    WhiteChocolateMocha 17 days ago

    now my perception of how handsome I am has gone down after watching this

    • WhiteChocolateMocha
      WhiteChocolateMocha 8 days ago

      @Isabela Guzei must b pretty accurate i guess :D

    • Isabela Guzei
      Isabela Guzei 8 days ago

      And I've just created another expectation gap bassed on my imagination😂

  • Shana Adams
    Shana Adams 23 days ago

    Embodiment of imperialistic benefits talking about the happiness of impoverished people. I couldn't write this stuff lol.

  • bahareh ghobadi
    bahareh ghobadi 29 days ago

    I dont know how some people get more than their expectation in every aspect of their life.

  • bahareh ghobadi
    bahareh ghobadi 29 days ago

    There is huge gap between my life and my deeams.☹

  • Jacob Okubo
    Jacob Okubo Month ago

    I feel it has to do with being grateful. When you have less what you do have means more.

  • Sarha Sarhan
    Sarha Sarhan Month ago +1

    one of my favorite videos ever.

  • SK&Associates NZ
    SK&Associates NZ Month ago +3

    I can say just one word "SUPERB".

  • Mubarak Ali Rajput
    Mubarak Ali Rajput Month ago

    an excellent presentation & research & analysis.

  • Shane Kasunich
    Shane Kasunich Month ago

    Most people feel the more you HAVE, the more you have to complain about.

  • Luis Dias
    Luis Dias Month ago

    Is the money question adjusting to inflation? I hate these kinds of questions when inflation is completely ignored, it is so damn hard to get investments that pay you significantly more than the current inflation.

  • Diana Eidson
    Diana Eidson Month ago

    Why can’t we have a guy like this as President of the US? We have the worst person in the world instead! Sigh.

  • deepzz world
    deepzz world 2 months ago

    Thank you

  • Estelita Ch
    Estelita Ch 2 months ago

    He looks like prince charming

  • Dietterich Labs
    Dietterich Labs 2 months ago

    This ted talk is amazing.

  • Rizwan Saifi
    Rizwan Saifi 2 months ago

    His forehead is brighter than my future

  • Gracious Donkor
    Gracious Donkor 2 months ago

    Brilliant ted talk

  • FER FREYTTAS Dreamer Counselor இ༄ INTUITION

    Who is ??
    I want email this man

  • Kunal Mazumdar
    Kunal Mazumdar 2 months ago

    so, basically, this video tells us that monkeys are happier than humans; because they don't give a damn about other monkeys having a Mercedez or plastic face or having a more beautiful wife. They all care about bananas.

  • Lama Al-Hezayen
    Lama Al-Hezayen 2 months ago

    It was so difficult for me to focus on the talk because of his beauty. I had to watch it 3 times !

  • Tania Seabock
    Tania Seabock 2 months ago

    What an amazing man! WOW!!!

  • Umar Chowdhury
    Umar Chowdhury 2 months ago

    The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said,
    "Richness is not in having many things for display and rather richness is the richness of the self."

  • Наталия Косякова

    Based on the comments, most people after watching fell in love with the speaker, because he is cute and smart. I can't agree with what he said. What we think becames our reality. And yes, dreams come true. But when your expeсtations are low and you don't really need that much, the Universe is not going to give it to you, it gives it to someone else, who craves for it. Also with children: it is the last thing to tell a kid that something he/she dreams about is impossible. No, children should know that they are unique, smart and talented and they can achieve anything! There might be failures, but they are meant to be outstanding people, if they want so. How can you tell them different and still wish them happiness??

  • prabhupattigilli
    prabhupattigilli 2 months ago

    nice talk

  • Dr. Allison Qiu
    Dr. Allison Qiu 3 months ago +1

    💝He's so handsome, so I can not focus on what he is talking about, but I believe he did a great job and his presentation is excellent.💝

    • Dr. Allison Qiu
      Dr. Allison Qiu 3 months ago

      💝 Maybe appearance will interfere with our mental processing activity.💝

  • mama Buccellati
    mama Buccellati 3 months ago

    This is why apple users are always depressed

  • sairam nandikanti
    sairam nandikanti 3 months ago

    he looks like he has read myth of sisyphus

  • Parvez Akhtar
    Parvez Akhtar 3 months ago

    Very, very fresh perspectives...

  • Cayote Lives
    Cayote Lives 3 months ago

    How much do you make ? But nevertheless great speech sincerely

  • Cass -
    Cass - 3 months ago

    Less want, more happy.

  • yasmani martinez
    yasmani martinez 3 months ago

    I personally don't care about relationships, my life is about personal objectives, everything else is secondary.

  • Clinton Barros
    Clinton Barros 3 months ago

    I needed this

  • Jane Crowe
    Jane Crowe 4 months ago +1

    Well, you did it Nat. I'm setting up a file for best TED's and you're the first one there. Talks like this do make the world a better place. God bless.

  • that_singh_who_sings
    that_singh_who_sings 4 months ago +3

    This guy is one of the modt handsome man I have ever seen. But what fascinates me more is the thought process he has. Any sensible and wise girl's delight.

  • 丁一
    丁一 4 months ago

    This young man is amazing

  • Toby Wilson
    Toby Wilson 4 months ago

    Yeah. A government mandate against airbrushing. Sounds like a good idea.

  • Vallal Arasu Pandiyan
    Vallal Arasu Pandiyan 4 months ago

    Awesome Talk. Every one must need to watch this. Simple and Super.

    POWER & WILL 4 months ago

    Stop watching halmark

  • mdenyw
    mdenyw 4 months ago +1

    "lower your expectation" the words that I like

  • Patricia
    Patricia 4 months ago

    I'm pissed

  • KeKe Nyte
    KeKe Nyte 4 months ago +1


  • omgitsaidsyay
    omgitsaidsyay 4 months ago

    He kind of looks like Nat Ware when he wears that shirt.

  • Wimolwan Suwannachote
    Wimolwan Suwannachote 4 months ago

    He’s hot...

  • walter moilwa
    walter moilwa 4 months ago

    Expectation➡️ betrayal ➡️hate
    Especially if you're lied to by someone you trust. That is a point not included in the presentation, being lied to.

  • Noah Bernardiner
    Noah Bernardiner 4 months ago

    How is the APP called??🧐

  • Yazan Sakran
    Yazan Sakran 4 months ago

    Be creators, not just consumers.

  • Liezel .espiritu
    Liezel .espiritu 4 months ago

    What is this handsome and intelligent creature’s name?

  • Hamed Mohammed
    Hamed Mohammed 4 months ago +6

    This is amazing talk.
    We unconsciously make our unhappiness and our misery.

  • Cambo Gaming
    Cambo Gaming 4 months ago +1

    It’s been my favorite channel so far. The speakers bring me variety of incredible experience and knowledge .

  • Ram Sinjali
    Ram Sinjali 4 months ago

    But it depends upon the perception of every individuals.

  • a please
    a please 4 months ago

    He went to Oxford. His expectation is that he’s better than everyone else.
    I felt an overwhelming urge to smash his face in.

  • Prak Err
    Prak Err 4 months ago

    This guy is wonderful

  • Muhammad Alì
    Muhammad Alì 4 months ago +1

    If he was fatty, bold and short it would have been better.
    All those comments of the ladies saying he is cute made me unhappy.
    He is a high expectation. Funny isn't?
    We are unhappy because we don't appreciate what we have and we look at what those who have more than us.
    Doing so we feel we dont have anything and we feel unhappy.
    Prophet Muhammad said this, peace and blessings upon him.
    I felt unhappy at listening to this lecture at how beautiful, in shape, knowledgeble, respected and intelligent this man is and all those comments from the ladies.
    So what I'll do is follow the teaching of Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings upon him.
    I need to be reminded by someone who has less than what the Creator gave me to appreciate and be happy about what I have.
    It works, it is from Allah, the Creator, the Most Merciful and Most Kind.
    Wish you all the best brother Nat.

  • Lee YY
    Lee YY 5 months ago

    Introduction to Persuasive design

  • Patricia Bartosik
    Patricia Bartosik 5 months ago +1

    Lower your expectations and you will be happier.

  • sommarflicka81
    sommarflicka81 5 months ago

    Good but it’s a bit weird that he is smiling all the time, is it comedy or is he trying to flirt with someone in the audience? Except from that, interesting.