The Crimes of Grindelwald - Ruining a Franchise

Share
Embed
  • Published on Mar 20, 2019
  • Patreon: www.patreon.com/cosmonautvarietyhour
    BUY A SHIRT: teespring.com/stores/cosmonaut-variety-merch-store
    Twitter: twitter.com/cosmovarietyhr
  • Film & AnimationFilm & Animation

Comments • 13 772

  • Matthew Kreps
    Matthew Kreps Hour ago

    Sure Crimes of Gindelwald is bad, but don't let that distract you from the fact Brad's wife was fired from Crackle Barrel after 11 years of faithful service.

  • Jordan Garland
    Jordan Garland Hour ago

    the costume photos in the video made it soooo funny

  • Attacker792 Gaming
    Attacker792 Gaming 3 hours ago

    Anthony Goldstein is in the books not the films but was never described as Jewish

  • The Elite Hydreigon Master

    I am a middle class Mexican bisexual living in Texas and i do believe that certain people are under represented


    That being said, you better believe when say that very little things piss me off more than movies/shows/stories are inclusive just for the sake of being inclusive and nothing else

  • 泽康之游戏
    泽康之游戏 5 hours ago

    Anthony Goldstein was already introduced to in Order of the Pheonix.So he is not completely random,he just an non explored character who is also a DA member

  • Agnes Johansson
    Agnes Johansson 8 hours ago

    THEY EXPLAINED THE MEMORY THING EARLY IN THE FIRST MOVIE!

  • Jacob McGraw
    Jacob McGraw 9 hours ago

    I'm pretty sure there was a student with the Goldstein name in order of the phoenix

  • the_attack_of_ geekYT
    the_attack_of_ geekYT 15 hours ago

    I gave it a pass because it looked really good visually lol

  • Averett Flory
    Averett Flory 16 hours ago

    JK Rowling didn’t even write Cursed Child and it’s considered the 8th book?

  • cold is the new hott, yoki doki artichoki

    No one:
    J.K Rowling: tHe SorTinG haT Is vEgaN

  • IMBATMAN 17
    IMBATMAN 17 20 hours ago +1

    I feel like we as readers know the wizard world better than her, and she wrote them

  • Sai
    Sai 21 hour ago

    Don't think you can slip Gascoigne's theme past me.

  • kat_the_ot
    kat_the_ot 23 hours ago

    They really should have separated these two concepts. Let Newt have his own movie that's fun and whimsical with magical creatures, and THEN make a series about Grindelwald with Dumbledore as the main character coming to terms with someone he loves turning to the dark side and being the reason his sister is dead. That would have been the better idea and I would watch the shit out of those movies. Instead Rowling once again wrote herself into a corner and now has to think of reasons why Newt, a zookeeper like you said, is supposed to be important in these movies.
    In conclusion, Rowling really needs to embrace the concept of death of the author.

  • Random Super Fan
    Random Super Fan Day ago +1

    No one:

    J.k Rowling: Ummm actually, wizardry is a disease that was spread by aliens so basically everyone is disabled.....and no one is white.
    .....oh yeah and by the way, Hargid is a gay paedophil.

  • Annel Torres
    Annel Torres Day ago

    I love your videos and your I take on all this movies !! Your my favorite !!

  • Perry Martin
    Perry Martin Day ago

    "Hello, my name is J.K Rowling, and I'm the female equivalent to George Lucas someone please remove my from my writing space."

  • Intelligenz -bestie

    Fantastic beasts: The Crimes of Rowling

  • Xtoriez Novel
    Xtoriez Novel Day ago +1

    J. K. Rowling is acting more and more like George Lucas. Stop mucking about with it!

  • Gyanankur Patgiri

    18:52 spilled my coffee

  • C D
    C D Day ago +1

    Idk why everyone’s so surprised Rowling started retconning shit. She probably receives death threats from extreme leftists on a daily basis. The RUclipr makes a great point, and I agree with him, but unfortunately there’s a small group of people that are both righteous and stupid

  • Alex Weikle
    Alex Weikle Day ago

    "Magical butt plug"? Fuck you.

  • StupidSprayed 007
    StupidSprayed 007 Day ago +1

    Pokémon Master Noob Salamander, I was like wait who? Lmaooooooo 😂😂

  • Ensec
    Ensec Day ago

    lets genocide the genociders who haven't genocided yet because i dont want a genocide to happen... kay?

  • Brandon Last name
    Brandon Last name 2 days ago +1

    I’m hoping they fix the problems in the future movies

  • Stephen LeGresley
    Stephen LeGresley 2 days ago

    What they should've done is have the film's function more like Doctor Who with Newt appearing at various events in history and then moving on. It would've been a fun anthology series and given them more artistic freedom.

    Honestly, I kind of think that's where they were going with it in the first movie and then changed their minds (or more accurately lost their minds) in the second one.

  • Let Tice
    Let Tice 2 days ago

    This has been in my left rec section countless times, youtube really wants me to watch this. You better be right youtube.

  • Hixaf
    Hixaf 2 days ago

    Dumbledore stops Grindelwald and his "Greater Good" but then create his own "Greater Good" and use a kid to stop another dark lord that is afraid of him? hmm

  • Mazza Rider
    Mazza Rider 2 days ago

    I just want to know where that clip is from of the guy saying 'Jesus'. I wish the abuse it's use on many group chats :D

  • Azo
    Azo 2 days ago

    Yesh, she dropped the fuck out of that ball. It's like she said "fuck yooouuu" to her past self and murdered a decent movie. A decent movie mind you that was a cash grab of its own. She could have just started a movie series of random characters that had small things to do with Grindlewald. Maybe the movie could have been about Zoe Kravitz? She seems to enjoy black women. The movie was convoluted enough. Could have been sold as "Here's how black women were treated in the 50s? Or was it 40s? Idk" and young kids/adults would have gobbled that shit up. Hell make the woman gay. They'd love that. Then have that stupid ass baby sequence play out and then reveal they stumbled upon Grindlewald. Then kill her off. The next movie would have me like "I wonder what next random character they're gonna tie into this!" and I'd be excited for a new Harry Potter franchise that'll only disappoint because that Dumby fight is gonna be lame as hell and not worth the 10 movie wait. Also the holocaust? lmao really?

  • TheStarsDon'tDance
    TheStarsDon'tDance 2 days ago +1

    It's funny because you sound like Ezra Miller 🤣

  • seanfox211
    seanfox211 2 days ago +1

    What a horrible mess

  • León Salazar
    León Salazar 2 days ago

    So Dumblendore was Grindewald sumissive lil bitch

  • Cl 56
    Cl 56 2 days ago

    I like the addition of Bloodborne music at 20:46 lol

  • Mr. Potassium
    Mr. Potassium 2 days ago

    1:27 that sound scared me, i thought it came outside my headphones lmao

  • Maximus Prime
    Maximus Prime 2 days ago

    I was mostly bored by it. These movies just make me want to watch the Harry Potter movies again.

  • SHäge
    SHäge 2 days ago

    Nobody:
    Jk Rowling: *HARRY LITERALLY FUCKED RON IN THE ASS*

  • Jimi Kell
    Jimi Kell 2 days ago

    Anthony goldstein is actually mentioned multiple times in The Order of the Phoenix (the book)

  • Markus Criticus
    Markus Criticus 2 days ago +1

    One thing I disagree is that Dumbledore wasn't intended to be gay in the books. I agree it should have been said in the text, but honestly, his relationship and backstory with Grindewald makes a lot more sense that way.

  • Brianna Johnson
    Brianna Johnson 2 days ago

    "Magical butt plug."
    Omg

  • Lavender Love
    Lavender Love 2 days ago

    I LOVED the plot twist!! 😡 As for the rest...I totally AGREE. It always felt like or feels like she’s adding on bullshit just make people happy...🙄

  • Asacio
    Asacio 2 days ago

    I can´t stop sharing and recommending this video because it is so good, so funny and I really feel like you got everything right.

  • Adam Putt
    Adam Putt 2 days ago

    When you genocide people to stop genocide from happening. 🤷‍♂️

  • Ariadne W.
    Ariadne W. 3 days ago +6

    No one:
    J. K. Rowling: "Hagrid was actually transgender"

  • Ariadne W.
    Ariadne W. 3 days ago +1

    at least rowling gives us something to laugh about by provoking countless people to joke about her revelations

  • Barbara Patiño
    Barbara Patiño 3 days ago +2

    "accio doesnt work on living things... You know how i know that? Because SHE TAUGHT ME THAT" HAHAHAHA see im glad this is so bad because i've been laughing for 28 minutes straight

  • Jean on the Road
    Jean on the Road 3 days ago

    Rowling is done. None of us (except Mark Twain) is infinitely creative, and she has reached her limit. As someone who reached her own limit at 7 with the epic saga of Turkey Lurkey and his thrilling escape from the pilgrim hunters, I recognize the signs. She needs to find another hobby.

  • Liam Alistarr
    Liam Alistarr 3 days ago

    I like how he literally just calls them Pokemon when the movie is called Fantastic beats

  • Robert Snider
    Robert Snider 3 days ago

    They did with Grindy what happened in real life with Hitler. Just by looking at the asshole any rational thinking person would place a high probability that the fucker is off mentally... yet they gained blindly devoted followers regardless of the fact that they both looked like they actually eat babies and draw pictures on the walls with their feces.

  • Robert Snider
    Robert Snider 3 days ago +1

    I love Johnny Depp but they should have just kept Colin Farrell as the actor playing Grindy

  • Lumin Elixer
    Lumin Elixer 3 days ago

    I'm actually of the opposite opinion. I actually loved the Crimes of Grindelwald despite a few small things that weren't great.

  • JOE SANCHEZ
    JOE SANCHEZ 3 days ago

    BOOKS OF MAGIC by NIEL GAIMAN.

    jk rowling stole every single thing she could from that comic by neil gaiman. consider rowling a writer, is like considering kanye west a musician......it only shows how little people knows about literature.....and music.....

  • swaroop subudhi
    swaroop subudhi 3 days ago +9

    Thank you J.K.Rowling for
    1.making my childhood awesome
    2.completely destroying it
    😑😒

  • Id4n
    Id4n 3 days ago

    This would've been great if it had any author other than JK Rowling.

  • Roger Dräyer
    Roger Dräyer 3 days ago

    17:28 then how does Harry use it on a toad in Order of the Phoenix? When or where is it even mentioned that Accio doesn't work on living creatures? The first time it comes up in the books is when Harry is desperatly trying to learn it in Goblet of Fire. Then again in OotP, where he uses it on a freaking TOAD. Then it comes up a whole lot more, but as far as I've come with my rereading of Harry Potter (right now I'm at Snape's memory at the end of Deathly Hallows), this arbitrary limitation of the summoning charm has never come up. And here's this part straight from Pottermore: "[...] you can summon any book, instrument *or animal* with a wave of the wand and the word Accio!". So I'm left to wonder, why do people claim that? It's like, really wrong.

  • moviemations
    moviemations 3 days ago +1

    "Magical vape"
    10/10 would catch em all again

  • Kelly Muhangi
    Kelly Muhangi 3 days ago +1

    In defense of JK...
    I actually thought Dumbledore was implied to have been in love with Grindelwald when I read seventh book. Although, an intense sexual relationship was not at all what I was thinking. And it isn’t necessary to tell us about it either.
    Anthony Goldstein was mentioned at one point, I think. It barely counts, but he does exist.
    Nagini’s curse sounds like something JK would have wanted to put in the books but dropped because it served no purpose, so it might have already been planned.

  • Omar Elemary
    Omar Elemary 4 days ago

    I think a way they could have incorporated newt into the movies is to have Grindelwald try to use a massive fantastic beast in his war and that they need newt cause he is an expert on magical creatures

  • Milky Man
    Milky Man 4 days ago

    I would of loved it if instead of newt using his wand he used his creatures to fight with him. It would be pretty unique and makes more sense than making newt amazing at magic

  • coolguyhino92
    coolguyhino92 4 days ago

    Although your opinion is valid, all I want to say is: Dude, watch the movies. Listen to the small details. Instead of just asking, "why is this happening", and leaving it at that, put some effort in and try to answer it.
    Q: Why did Grindelwald go back to save his follower when he was free, especially when he threw the lizard thing out the window?
    A: If you look at the scene right as they're about to leave, the real GW(who is pretending to be the other guy) hands over the box with his 'wand'. Right after, the woman tells him to give up the blood pact. GW was planning on only giving up the wand box that really had the lizard in it. not the blood pact. So he had to go back to get it. And yes, part of it was to help the fake GW. He rewards him with a new tongue, and thanks him. So why did he throw the lizard out the window? "So needy" He had just thanked the lizard, calmed him down, and embraced him. It then motions to get more affection from GW, so he tossed it. He's not there to baby.

    Q:Why does the government want Newt to be an auror?/go after GW?
    A: They don't. They know he he wants to travel. Theseus got him an appeal. They hold the promise of travel over his head unless he collects Credence. NOT GW. Nothing to do with permanently joining them.

    Q:Why can't Newt travel?
    A: They think the trouble he caused in NY was under the orders of DD. And they know there is some link between DD and GW. Until they get answers, or do what they want, no travel.

    Q: Why does DD ask Newt? Why not someone else?
    A: Other than is being said that DD literally cannot move against GW because of the blood pact, he asks Newt because: 1. GW and his colleagues are under surveillance. 2. DD knows Newt will do it because it's the right thing to do. Not for gain or compensation. 3. DD knows Newt really wont ever say no to him.

    Q: Why does the memory wipe potion have such a specific circumstance? It's such a bad retcon.
    A: Ok, 1. It's not a potion. It's a venom from one of the beasts whose SIDE EFFECT is loss in negative memories. Not some potion with an overly specific loophole. 2. This was stated in the 1st FB movie. So it wasn't just something they came up with last minute in this movie to explain why Jacob had his memory back as a retcon.

    Q: Why does accio work on the niffler? It can't be used on living things.
    A: Yes, but he wasn't using it on the niffler. He was using it on all the stolen goods in its pouch. Look at the scene. See all the crap being pulled out of its pouch? That's what's being pulled. The niffler is along for the ride.

    Q: If Leta and Tina are government officials, why can't they get out of the record?
    A: Tina is there under false pretenses with Newt posing as Leta and Theseus. Plus Newt is kinda wanted atm, so they can't really just waltz in and out. And as for Leta, although she is in HER records, she drew 1st blood with those big eyes protector cats. Newt stated that as imposing as they are, they won't hurt you unless you attack them...since she didn't know that, she attacked. So she ran.

    Q: Why is every character at the crypt randomly?
    A: Seriously? Each person is there in some way do to GW.
    -Leta because she was going nuts about the Credence Corvus rumors, and needed her family tree to prove once and for all she's not crazy. But it was moved to the CRYPT. She even found a card plainly stating as such.
    -Credence because he wants nothing more than to know who he is, and GW subtexed him into going to the CRYPT when he visited him on the roof.
    -Nagini because she followed Credence.
    -Kama because he was tracking Credence to kill him.
    -Theseus because he was sent to the CRYPT along with other government people to apprehend GW at his rally.
    oh, not to mention the BIG BLACK MASS IN THE SKY that was stated to be a beacon for GW's followers to meet at the CRYPT. GW put bread crumbs for everyone who ended up their.

    Q: If GW says he's not a killer, why does he kill so many people, magic and non magic, then try to convince everyone to join him to kill muggles?
    A: GW states he doesn't 'hate' muggles. With every horrible thing he's done, none of it was because of hate. He's doing all of this because he sees it as, it is in HUMAN nature to kill and destroy and bla bla. As in, humans aren't choosing to do what they do. So he won't hate muggles for what is really a genetic defect in his eyes. He's above hate for something he sees as not in their control. He's trying to stop an attack he's sure will happen well before it does. Yes, he'll kill anyone who gets in his way, tries to stop him, or is NECESSARY for his plan. He is out right livid when one of his followers is killed during his rally. She did not need to die for his plan. He shows remorse for her. Apologizing to her body, and demanding her remains be returned to her family.

    Q: Why does Queenie side with GW? It is SO out of character for her.
    A: GW has a silver tongue. The gift of gab. Remember at the beginning where it was said he had to have his tongue cut out because he was VERY PERSUASIVE? That's how he got her. He appealed to her by explaining that his true end goal is to live in a world where magic and non magic can live freely together without persecution. She wants nothing but to be with Jacob. She can't do that....unless the world changes to allow it.

    Q: Why do all the characters stay at the rally and during the fight in the crypt? "The strangest thing is that these characters can just leave this battle if they wanted to"
    A: ok, Wtf. This is some CinemaSins level ignorance. They stay for the rally because they have to. The second they walk in, they realize it was a trap to get them there. All the doors close, and followers stand guard. But AS SOON as the blue flame circle appears, they're trapped. It very clearly shows that when the followers apparate out, they're fine. But when ANY of the Gov. people try it, death by melting blue flame. It even shows some trying to run up the steps away from it, death by melting blue flame. Even getting a comment from GW stating 'No cheating. play by the rules.' Followers leave unharmed. Non followers either join or die. Period. Even the emo hair follower melted when he tried to jump through the ring. Either because he wasn't a true follower, or because he questioned GW enough to be deemed not loyal. Even Queenie. It started hurting her when she jumped through. She despised the man until that morning. But even though she may not be 100% on GW methods, she agrees with what the outcome will be, and is allowed through. Even Leta's plot armor fails when she refuses to join him.

    Everyone else is only able to apparate out when GW turns into the blue fire dragon and leaves.
    ps, GW doesn't 'summon' the 'fire elemental', it IS him.

    Q: Why can they apparate on Hogwarts grounds. It was stated they couldn't.
    A: The validity of this has come up before, but the rule has clearly been either broken, not true, circumstantial, or biased depending on the one who is doing it. DD does it many times in Half-blood prince. Even bringing Harry along. At one point saying, "Being me, has its advantages"
    So remember the flexing magical affairs leader guy who says he can do whatever he wants? I'm sure he has a high enough paygrade to apparate on school grounds. And with him being the one actually doing the apparating, there's no reason everyone can't hold on and tag along. Why the fuck they're all there in the 1st place is another matter entirely, but my point still stands.

  • Of Course You Can Pay Me In Gum

    Dat Iron Blue Intention BG tho 😍

  • Saprogeist
    Saprogeist 4 days ago

    10:06
    Dude, no kidding. What's the motivation for wanting him to help take down Grindelwald? He already dueled Grindelwald, and there's no semblance of ambiguity as to who won. He got his ass handed to him on a silver platter. And on top of that, he has zero interest in any of it. He's not even an asset, he's just a liability. Why the fuck would they want him?

  • Locomotionlotion
    Locomotionlotion 4 days ago

    Now, I was a big Harry Potter fan as a kid, but I got older and didn’t read beyond book 4. I started to see through the cracks of the writing.
    This film only proves that JK really can’t write. She didn’t know how to write a protagonist beyond ‘the chosen one’.

  • Auzzie015
    Auzzie015 4 days ago

    I actually love this movie for how batshit insane it is. It leaves you speechless.

  • Ato_Jin Tuia
    Ato_Jin Tuia 4 days ago

    Yeah it was bad. However I found it visually entertaining though, but it wasn't enough to make the movie good.

  • _ TheBigPig _
    _ TheBigPig _ 4 days ago

    Wait your black!

  • migueeeelet
    migueeeelet 4 days ago +1

    So, Mr Skittermander here is a pokemon zookeeper who just wants to tend to his stuff...
    ...but the movie goes about a constant wizardy fight between good and evil...
    ...WHY THE FUCK DID THEY COMBINE THESE DISSONANT ELEMENTS?
    Either make the movie about a pokemon zookeeper, or about a wizardy fight, don't give me half and half that don't mix!

  • Brickmaster E
    Brickmaster E 5 days ago +1

    That outro music can only make me think of CallMeKevin.

  • Bubble jety - Lego Animator

    The cosmonaut variety hour why he sucks

  • ThePotterWiz
    ThePotterWiz 5 days ago

    wtf, except for that newt and tina dont kiss this film is amazing. wtf u saying???

  • Dark Angel
    Dark Angel 5 days ago +3

    No one:
    J.K.: The sourting hat had an affair with Harry's sock.